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A 70 year old man went to his doctor's to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained "Well, doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, with no result. Then her left hand, but again nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called the young lady next door and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the bloody jar open!

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